FROM FINALIZING THE BUDGET TO OVERSPENDING ON FLOWERS, HERE ARE 50 WEDDING PLANNING DO'S AND DON'TS

There are so many steps involved in planning a wedding. From choosing the perfect date to finding a venue that can host the ceremony that you’ve long been dreaming about to perfecting your centerpieces, wedding planning can be a very involved process. Luckily, we've gathered up the best wedding planning tips!

For couples that are just starting out on their journey of putting their big day together, the process can seem extremely daunting. But one of the best ways to get your wedding planning off on the right foot is to pick up tips from those who have gone through the journey themselves. Parade talked to a mix of former brides and wedding industry experts to bring you this guide of 50 do’s and don’ts to consider when planning your upcoming wedding ceremony and reception.

50 Best Wedding Planning Tips: Do's and Don'ts

1. Do throw the rules out the window

“The first rule of wedding planning is to remember that there are no rules,” says Samantha Iacia, associate editor of WeddingWire. She notes that as the couple, it’s your special day, and the important thing is that you make it everything you’ve dreamed of—“even if that means disregarding the status quo or politely declining your loved ones’ opinions.”

2. Do finalize your budget

This, says Iacia, should be the first step in your wedding planning process. “Once you have a budget, you can start mapping out the rest of the logistics, such as the wedding date, venue, and guest count,” she explains. Iacia adds that if your parents or relatives are contributing to your wedding budget, keep in mind that they’re also entitled to an opinion in the decision-making. “If someone offers to pay, consider asking them to put money toward a specific wedding vendor or detail where you’re comfortable sharing control, such as the flowers, music or attire.”

3. Do include your wedding dress, tuxes, shoes, accessories, nail appointments, etc. in the overall wedding budget

“This is often not included, and is such a large, integral line item/budget category that can cause you to unintentionally exceed the overall wedding budget,” says Kristen Gosselin, owner & creative Director, KG Events & Design.

4. Do start a Pinterest board

“It will help you organize and get creative with or without a wedding planner,” says bride Autumn Weimann.

5. Do get your ring cleaned

"So it’s beautiful and sparkly the day of,” explains bride Hannah Anglebrandt. This little gesture made her feel a little extra special on her big day.

6. Do put yourself first

“Initially when planning my wedding, I kept thinking of all of the guests and what would be the best experience for them...but then I quickly realized it’s not about the guests, it’s about my husband and I. It’s our special day, not theirs,” says Brittany Furlan, who married Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee, in February 2019. She suggests turning your wedding focus to what you and your husband-to-be want/envision, “not what your parents or your Aunt Cathy wants. This is a memory that you and your husband will hold dearer than any of your family members so make sure you’re both happy with what you decide to do.”

Related: Rustic Wedding Ideas

7. Do pause to enjoy the moment

“If you have time to sneak away and just watch everyone, take a few minutes to breathe and watch your friends/family make new memories together,” Angelbrandt suggests.

8. Do arrange guest transportation

If possible, have a shuttle for guests to safely travel to and from the ceremony/reception/hotel. If this isn’t doable, have taxi information handy or encourage Lyfts or Ubers.

9. Do spend more money on a photographer and videographer than on flowers

“Flowers die and no one really truly remembers the flowers at your wedding. However, photos and a video will last forever and can capture memories that you will have forever to hang in the hallway of your home to show your grandkids one day,” says Weimann.

10. Do consider a first look

“We were iffy about this one because we wanted our first look to be while I walked down the aisle. However, I’m really glad we ended up doing the first look because it was a special moment and we were able to capture more photos and we weren’t rushed to capture those photos,” Weimann explains.

11. Do get a second dress

“Especially if you want to get down on the dance floor,” suggests Weimann. She opted for three dresses for herself. “The other two dresses were so comfy to dance the night away in, especially if you’re drinking bride you might spill or if you’re the bride at the end of the night that stands in the bar and starts rapping Cardi B. I mean who wants to do that in a big huge wedding dress? Guilty!”

12. Do check the weather in the city you want to get married in for the past two years before you finalize a day

This helped Weimann to know what she was getting into for her destination wedding.

13. Do make sure you take the time to have a moment to yourself before you walk down the aisle

“Everything goes by so quickly that day,” Weimann recalls. She suggests making sure that you take the time to have a moment to yourself before you walk down the aisle and really let the moments sink in.

14. Do consider renting your wedding dress

“I found an amazing designer, Rita Vernais, who let me borrow my wedding dress,” says Furlan. “So many brides waste so much money buying their wedding dress. I find it to be a complete waste of money.”

15. Do get crafty with decorations

To save money on décor, Furlan took two giant glass vases that she had at home, filled them with her own floral design and bought a white velvet runner on Etsy. She also ordered a giant box of white rose petals from a local florist, spread them around and had one of her favorite local florists design my bouquet. “It was perfect, elegant and cost-effective,” she says.

16. Do involve your pets

Furlan and Lee had their pups be a part of their big day and are so happy that they did. “The cutest little touch was I had a custom wedding dress and tuxedo made for our dogs,” she says.

17. Do see your wedding venue in person

“While pictures and video tours are a great start, understanding the flow and making sure there aren't any hidden flaws requires someone to have walked the actual space, even if that is a wedding planner you have hired,” says Shannon Tarrant, founder at WeddingVenueMap.com.

18. Do find a photographer that matches your style

For photography, Furlan went with someone whose work she and her fiancé knew personally, their dear friend Myriam Santos who has photographed the likes of David Bowie. “She was our go-to for an edgy nontraditional look,” she explains. “It’s good to find a photographer that matches your style and isn’t going to shoot you like some cheesy staged photos you typically see at weddings."

19. Do make planning a joint effort

“My husband was involved in our wedding planning and I never felt like I was shouldering the responsibilities by myself. It was fun building our day together,” lifestyle expert, Charell Star.

20. Do have at least a day of coordinator or helper so you can just focus on actually getting married

Star and her partner opted to plan their wedding ourselves but hired a day-of assistant and used the venue’s coordinator to make sure the day went smoothly. “They made sure everything was incredible,” she explains.

21. Do register for whatever you want

“That rental camper you and your partner have been discussing for your nanomoon (small, stateside honeymoon) road trip to Yosemite? Add that to your registry. Oh, you also needed a set of matching bowls, plates and Nebbiolo glasses from Crate, and that matte flatware from Chip and Joana Gaines’ Target line for holiday festivities? That too. What about a cash fund for your new puppy? You can add everything and anything you’d like in one place on The Knot Registry—even a charity or cause you believe in,” says Esther Lee, senior editor at The Knot.

22. Do consider mismatched seating

"First was the trend of mismatched bridesmaid dresses, now comes mismatched seating arrangements. Long gone are the days of uniformity, but still—there’s a symmetry and a creative flow to mismatched seating charts,” says Lee.

23. Do look into tents and lighting

Ester says that having dinner under the stars and twinkly lights can add a romantic and whimsical touch to your big day. “As outdoor weddings become the trendy norm and preferred venue ahead, talk to rental companies and your venue about what a tented dance floor and dinner space could look like,” she says. Lighting and sound also make big differences to the ambiance, so she suggests checking out your options there: “If you want to play around with your wedding aesthetic, we recommend looking into 3D rendering options like Merri to get a sense of the layout.”

24. Do add personal touches

Throughout her wedding-planning process, Amy Gorin, MS, RDN, a plant-based registered dietitian in New York City, and her partner made sure to add extra special touches to both the invitation and wedding process. “This included a very personalized wedding website and a line on the response card for dietary preferences. When our wedding turned virtual, we involved everyone by suggesting a set menu and specialty cocktail—many people played along—as well as creating a four-hour playlist for our virtual wedding,” she says.

25. Do add a cash fund

Many couples want to know if it’s okay to ask for money instead of material gifts, and the answer per Iacia is absolutely. “The key is to do it in a tactful, respectable way. Avoid the faux pas of asking for cash outright, and definitely don’t spell it out on your wedding invitations. Instead, spread the word by adding a cash registry option or honeymoon fund to your wedding website, along with a small list of ideas for guests who prefer the more traditional gifting route,” Iacia says.

26. Do ask for help

“People are more than happy to help and support you in this exciting chapter,” says registered dietitian Katie Hake RDN, LD. She adds that rather than getting wrapped up in the stress yourself, delegate where you can. “You can't—and shouldn't do everything yourself.”

27. Do talk with your fiance about what's most important for you for the wedding day

“So many times I have seen couples not discuss this and then their budget gets blown, arguments creep in, stress increases and they get carried away watching what everyone has on social media,” explains Simone Vega, owner and lead designer with Coordinated to Perfection.

28. Do choose the three things that are most important to you on your wedding day

“As you are going through planning and having to choose between things, or make budgetary decisions, remembering the things that are the most important elements of your day, and putting your money towards those is what's going to ultimately give you what you want and can help you with decision making throughout the planning process,” suggests Juls Sharpley, founder of Bubbles & Bowties.

29. Do consider guest comfort

“Think through accommodations and each piece of your wedding as your guests will experience it. Plan for cooling/warming stations, beverages, snacks, welcome amenities, etc. These special touches will leave your guests feeling much more connected to your celebration,” says Andrea Leslie, owner of Andrea Leslie Weddings & Events.

30. Don't worry about everyone else’s schedules

“I found myself coordinating my dates to make them possible for other people to join my bachelorette party and bridal shower," says Weimann. "If everyone doesn’t make it, don’t worry about it!"

31. Don't let anyone dictate the rules of your special day

"We initially had this huge wedding planned in Punta Mita, but we kept running into issues with the venue, family being difficult about who stayed where, so we refused to let anyone take the joy out of our special day. We said 'Bye Felicia' to all the drama and decided to get married at our own beautiful home, on our own, and spend our wedding budget on an elaborate honeymoon,” Furlan reveals.

Related: Wedding on a Budget Ideas

32. Don't buy expensive flowers

“At the end of the day, you have to remember the flowers die, so don’t waste too much money on them,” says Furlan. She suggests buying flowers that are easy to be pressed or dried so you can save them for a long time.

33. Don’t do website invitations

“I made this mistake and got so many text messages and calls asking the same questions over and over even though I had a website with all details. A lot of the older generations don’t know how to use websites or anything virtual,” explains Weimann.

34. Don't wear shoes you can’t move around in

“Bad idea!” says Angelbrandt.

35. Don't invite people who you don’t want to invite

“They aren’t worth wasting time or money on,” says Angelbrandt. Save your guest list for those who mean the post of you.

36. Don't invite people whom you don’t really talk to and are just a second cousin or long-lost family member

“Our rule was if they said ‘happy birthday’ this year to you, then invite them and if they are a close friend,” Weismann explains. She adds that you don’t have to invite every single person you know. She jokes that her fiancé wanted to invite people from his kindergarten class “which was crazy! We ended up with only 30 people for a destination wedding, which was only close family members and best friends."

37. Don't forget to have fun with the process

When it comes to wedding planning, Furlan says to have fun and follow your gut: “Don’t let wedding planning overtake you and suck the fun out of your day. Who wants to be stressed on their wedding day? Not me!” She adds that her motto was to “exhale the stress and inhale the fun.”

38. Don't go way over budget on your wedding dress

“You and your husband will be the center of attention—no matter what you wear,” says Star.

39. Don't make your bridal party shell out for expensive outfits

“Our groomsmen wore dark suits they already owned,” Star recalls. “We gifted them matching ties and I found beautiful inexpensive dresses for my bridesmaids. They all wore their own shoes and everyone looked incredible.”

40. Don’t worry about everything being perfect

Starr got married outdoors on an abnormally cold day in October. “We couldn’t control the weather and had to just roll with it. Mother Nature actually tried to freeze us out but I felt nothing but happiness standing next to my love and saying our vows,” she explains.

41. Don’t worry about the wedding party being even

“When my husband and I were choosing our wedding party, we had a mutual friend who could have been on either of our sides. I ended up asking her to be a bridesmaid, and so we originally had five people standing on my side and four on his. This friend ended up getting pregnant and dropping out of the wedding—so it was a non-issue—but we never worried about the wedding party being equal,” recalls Gorin.

42. Don't put off dress shopping

If you’re planning to wear a wedding dress, it’s best to start shopping sooner rather than later—ideally, at least nine months before your wedding date, Iacia says. “A wedding dress can take a surprisingly long time to arrive after you purchase it unless you’re buying a sample style off the rack, which you’ll be able to take home the same day in most cases. On average, a wedding dress takes six months to be made and shipped from the designer, so don’t wait until the last minute! Once your wedding dress arrives, you’ll need to schedule fittings and alterations appointments, which can take up to three months depending on the amount of work required and your tailor’s availability,” she explains.

43. Don't bring the entire “I Do” crew to dress shop

Ester notes that as the bride, you have the chance to bring one to two—or maybe no guests—to your dress fitting appointments to clearly make the decision for yourself. And while dress shopping is a big tradition for brides, it’s become disproportionately crowded in the last decade. “Even Bridesmaids made jabs at the experience of rolling into a bridal salon with your entourage. Instead, make a decision for yourself, ultimately, and consider calling in a few select stakeholders whose opinions you value—while diminishing the rest of the noise,” she explains.

44. Don't lose sight of your vision

“From colors to decor, it’s exciting to brush up on the wedding trends of the moment, but don’t lose sight of your initial vision (and more importantly, the budget you set for yourself), Iacia says. She adds that you should make sure not to feel pressured to add something to your wedding or celebrate in a certain way just because it’s trendy. You should genuinely love every detail you choose for your big day.

45. Don’t hire your vendor team based on price alone

The most important factor should be whether or not they are a good fit for you and your wedding, says Katherine Healy Brown, owner and lead planner with, Clover Events.” Basing a decision on price alone will rule out some incredible options and, remember, the budget is always flexible and can be refined as the planning progresses,” she adds.

46. Don't let your big event space overtake your wedding

Lifestyle and design expert Eddie Zaratsian says in these circumstances, it can be a struggle when it comes to making sure your huge event space doesn’t swallow up your wedding. But there are plenty of creative ways to maximize the room and make it feel more cozy and intimate. “For example, we’ve been crafting ornate, canopy-like floral installations to hang above the reception, and these are incredible statement pieces. Overgrown greenery is perfect to ‘plant’ around the space, whether that’s pampas grasses or strategically placed arrangements that give your wedding that whimsical garden feel,” he says.

47. Don't clean your dress before your wedding day

Katie Brown, owner of Rytina Fine Cleaners wants to remind brides that the wedding gown is made ready to wear for her special day. “Don’t clean your gown before your wedding day,” she warns. “Wedding gowns are often treated with optical brighteners that come off during the cleaning process. Additionally, gowns made using a linen fabric have added stiffeners to enhance that crisp look which also comes out during cleaning. Heavily embellished gowns risk damage during the cleaning process unless they are properly tested, covered and secured,” she explains. With that said, per Brown, do “spot clean” areas that might have small spots from trying on your dress and do have your gown and veil professionally pressed and or steamed prior to your wedding day. “Many gowns get over-handled between shipping in a box, during your fittings and any alterations that get made for that perfect fit. Pressing and steaming will bring your dress back to life,” she adds.

48. Don't assume what the prices of wedding items or needs are

Do your research or ask your planner if you don't know. “Many times couples see things that they want on social media thinking they can have exactly what's in the picture. In reality, it may not be in your budget. It's your wedding and you can definitely have what you want but it has to fit your budget and your needs,” says Vega. For example, the price of a floral centerpiece may look like $100 to you online but there are labor, delivery and setup costs involved in getting that centerpiece to your wedding. “The internet is full of helpful information to guide you in the wedding planning process. However, a wedding planner can really help you hone in on what things might cost for your wedding day,” she adds.

49. Don't skip marriage coaching/mentoring/counseling

“If 2020 taught us anything, it’s that life is hard, unpredictable, and sometimes just plain ruthless. Planning a wedding, and building a marriage that will last takes intentionality,” says Manda Weaver, owner/photographer/creative director of Manda Weaver. She adds that learning marriage survival skills, finding common values, understanding how to support each other's passions, and shaping your future goals together will help your romance not only survive, but thrive through all of the highlights and hurdles of life. “You will not regret taking time to invest in your relationship!”

50. Don't forget to relax

The best tip that recent bride Kate Hall, a type 1 diabetic and athlete, has for brides-to-be is not to stress out too much on your big day. “All the work is already done. Now just relax and enjoy it. It will be the best day of your life,” she says.

Next up, a few Bridezillas share what they wish they’d done differently when planning their wedding!

2023-06-05T10:47:12Z dg43tfdfdgfd